At an academic conference last month, a staff member saw me standing by the information table and asked her fellow staff member, “Is this person being helped?” This is gender euphoria.
I told my mother I think I’m non-binary and she made sure to later sign my birthday card: You are the most phenomenal human being. This is gender euphoria.
A friend who doesn’t know yet I’m non-binary has been calling me his favorite human for years. This is gender euphoria.
At airport security or in line at the grocery store, I occasionally get ‘sir’ and even this is gender euphoria, if only because I’m not being read as female.*
For months now, I was concerned that because I am lucky enough not to experience dysphoria, that I couldn’t be non-binary. But I’ve been starting that list above (and hope to add more entries!) and have found that the moments I feel most comfortable with my body and my style and the way I’m perceived in the world is when I am a person and not fixed to womanhood.
This is just a short post to trust euphoria. Trust what feels good and makes you whole.
*I am still conflicted on these interactions. If only because I am still afraid that rather than embracing my gender, I am running from femininity. It’s the same way I have insisted for years when men hold the door open for me or attempt chivalry to “treat me like a person and not a woman”. But what does that say about how I perceive women? I’m afraid of my own internalized misogyny.
One thought on “In Praise of Gender Euphoria”
YES! People pay more attention to running away from dysphoria than running towards euphoria, which I don’t really get….and feel you on the internalized misogyny. ❤